Part of Find the Balance, a series on the tensions every leader lives with: why we lean one way, what drives the lean, and one small move.

“Lead from the front” is one of those pieces of advice that is about half right. Going first matters when a situation is unclear, when confidence is low or when a call has to be made quickly. But there’s a pattern most of us have seen in teams with a strong, capable person out in front: the team gets very good at following and not much better at leading. The more you lead from the front, the less others learn to lead.

The paradox

Step forward, and step back. Both are acts of leadership, and they point in opposite directions. Stepping forward gives people clarity, momentum and someone to follow when the way isn’t obvious. Stepping back gives them room to think, decide and own what happens next. A team needs both from you, often within the same week and sometimes within the same meeting. The skill lies in knowing which one this moment is asking for.

Too little, too much

Stepping forward is Directing: setting the course, going first and making the call. Done too little, the team is left without a reference point, and decisions drift or get made by whoever speaks first. Done too much, every problem is solved at the top and ownership never forms, because there’s no gap for it to grow into.

Stepping back is Considering: listening, taking in other views and leaving space for people to work things out. Done too little, it looks like impatience, with your view arriving before anyone else has finished theirs. Done too much, it becomes absence. People wait for a steer that never comes, and what you meant as trust feels to them like being left to it. Stepping back was never meant to be stepping away. You can hand over the work and still hold the accountability.

What each side invites

Groups have a simple rhythm. When one person steps forward, others tend to step back, and when one person steps back, someone else usually steps forward. That isn’t a flaw in anyone; it’s how teams organise themselves.

But it means your habit sets the pattern for everyone else. Lead from the front for long enough and people learn to wait for you. Hang back for long enough and the space gets filled, sometimes by the right person and sometimes by whoever simply moves first. Either way, what you do has quietly become part of their working conditions.

Within: why you lean

The lean usually rests on a belief that has never been put to the test. If you lean forward, the first story might be “If I’m not in it, it won’t be right.” Stepping back then feels risky, so you stay close and step in early.

If you lean back, the first story might be “Stepping in is interfering.” Offering direction then feels like overreach, so you wait to be asked. Both stories feel like good leadership from the inside. Changing the story starts with noticing that it is one, then trying out a second story, such as “My stepping in may be what’s stopping them from learning this.”

Around: what the space rewards

Workplaces push us one way or the other. Where speed is prized and every delay is noticed, stepping forward gets rewarded and stepping back looks like hesitation. Where mistakes are blamed on whoever made them, leaders learn to keep the important work close, because a team member’s error will land on them anyway. Both conditions shrink Agency for everyone else. In a workplace that prizes consensus and frowns on anyone who seems pushy, the opposite happens: stepping back becomes the safe default and direction quietly goes missing. Before judging your own lean, it’s worth asking what your workplace makes easy.

They move

Research by Daniel Ames and Francis Flynn found that leaders seen as either too low or too high in assertiveness were rated as less effective. Too little tended to cost them results; too much tended to cost them relationships.

The point isn’t to find a comfortable setting and leave it there. The leaders who handle this well read the situation, step forward when the team needs direction and step back as soon as it doesn’t. Their best signal is what other people are doing. If the team is waiting for you, you’ve probably been out in front too long. If decisions keep drifting, you’ve probably been behind too long.

The move

Pick one small step towards the side you use less. If you tend to lead from the front, choose one decision this week that would normally come to you and hand it back before you’ve formed a view. Agree what good looks like, then stay out of the method, even if you’d have done it differently. If you tend to hang back, choose one situation where the team is circling and give a clear steer early: “Here’s where I think we should head. Tell me what I’m missing.” Then watch what the people around you do next.

And a question to sit with. When something unclear lands on your team, who moves first? Is that what the situation needed, or just what everyone has learned to expect? And if you asked them whether you lead too much or too little, what would they say?

Find the Balance is one of Square Peg’s three practices, alongside Change the Story and Shape the Conditions.

References

• Ames, D. R., & Flynn, F. J. (2007). What breaks a leader: The curvilinear relation between assertiveness and leadership. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(2), 307–324. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.307